For Wei Ying

[lan_wangji]

Thirty six hours. Lan Wangji has not rested in thirty six hours. He cannot and he will not, no matter how many times the guardians of the City tell him to leave this place or how often his back and shoulders protest. He can feel the badly treated wound trying to reopen but the pain is incidental and he is Hanguan-Jun of Gusu Lan. He has trained for this. He will not fail Wei Ying, again. He will not lose him.

He has heard rumor of another man recently arrived with similar looks to himself. He'd arrived two days prior; Wei Ying had died two days prior. It must be him.

The sun has set again over the park where Lan Zhan sits next to the river, desperate for quiet as his fingers pluck at his guqin. Inquiry rings out over the park, broken up only when he switches to his Wangxian until his heart can no longer stand to hear it.

His Wei Ying has to be here.

Comments

[lan_wangji]

He is too distracted by the pain to note Wei Ying's words until the shift in his tone. It takes a moment to register who he could mean by she as this Wei Ying does not seem to know the fate of his shijie.

Wen Qing.

He presses his lips together as he unclenches one hand and slides it over to grip Wei Ying's. He lost Wei Ying once to his darkness and his grief because Wei Ying had thought himself alone, because Lan Zhan had not stood by him. It will not happen again.

[yiling_laozu]

Lan Wangji endures touch better than he likes others to believe, but he initiates it so rarely that Wei Wuxian nearly gasps, throat suddenly hot for the scandalous display of comfort. He draws a steadying breath, making certain his voice is even before he says, "I must honor her memory by healing you well, mustn't I?"

It's another moment before he can bring himself to move his hand from underneath Lan Wangji's, curling his overtop it for a moment before he rises again. "I won't be long. Try to relax, Lan Zhan. Your muscles are so tight."

[lan_wangji]

He nods, wanting to find words of comfort, wanting to say things that will help. He wants to tell Wei Ying how relieved he is that Wei Ying is with him but he does not know how.

He thinks of Wen Qing and all the others he'd heard were strung up or burned, the same people who allowed him into their home. He thinks of A-Yuan and hopes fiercely that he will be allowed to stay in Cloud Recesses, even if Lan Zhan has disappeared.

He ought to tell Wei Ying. He ought to tell him where A-Yuan is but he is terrified that Wei Ying will try and return, will leave him in this place before he has even had one day back with him. None of these thoughts have served to relax him or his muscles and he vows to find a way to tell him, soon. There must be a way to say it that will keep Wei Ying here.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian's face is damp and red when he returns from the kitchen, a sight he will blame on the steaming bowl in his hands. He sits and dampens a cloth in the hot water, pausing before he settles a hand on Lan Wangji's unmarred shoulder.

"I expect this will hurt quite a lot," he murmurs. "I'm sorry, Lan Zhan. I must get out the dirt."

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying owes no apologies," he insists, eyes lingering on Wei Ying's weary face and red eyes until he is settled behind him. He will not make a sound, he vows as he takes a deep and steadying breath, drawing what energy he has left into control over his reactions.

The first thought, however, as Wei Ying starts as gently as he can manage is that there were to be thirty one more of these. He hopes he would not have cried out; he hopes he would not have given them the satisfaction. He hopes all thirty three would have been testament to how wrong they had all been.

He hopes someone would have helped him afterwards as Wei Ying is.

[yiling_laozu]

"Wei Ying owes many apologies," he murmurs, thinking once more of those suffering at home, and those who will never laugh nor cry again. He draws a steadying breath and focuses on the wounded flesh before him, applying the cloth to the wounds as gently as he can. There isn't too much dirt, thankfully, though he detects small fibers that look like wood, and as the dried blood is washed away, he realizes what he's looking at.

He had bruises like this himself, once, though his were wider and from a larger staff. Wei Wuxian stops.

"You were beaten."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan would rather say nothing. There is no refuting it. Wei Ying is a smart and observant man and the wounds speak for themselves. But he is afraid that his coldness will turn Wei Ying away.

"Broke several rules," he murmurs, hands clenching and unclenching at the sensation of the cloth against his back. "Came here at the beginning of the strikes. Is why I am missing a robe."

[yiling_laozu]

"Your own clan did this?" Wei Wuxian gasps, clutching hard at Lan Wangji's shoulder as if he might somehow escape before Wei Wuxian is done examining him. The body before him doesn't move, yet Wei Wuxian loses sight of it after all, tendrils of dark energy beginning to trail from his fingertips as red floods in to obscure his vision. "Your Uncle would dare?"

[lan_wangji]

"Dont," Lan Zhan warns, heart pounding to see that dark energy yet again. He grabs at the hand gripping his shoulder, still facing away but fingers clenching at Wei Ying's as strongly as he can manage.

"Knew what the punishment would be when I broke the rules. It is fine. Do not think on it." It is not fine. It is painful and infuriating but he would have gladly taken the other thirty one blows. They were wrong; they were all wrong.

[yiling_laozu]

"What rule could be more important than his nephew's flesh and blood?" Wei Wuxian growls, moving past the astonishing idea that Lan Wangji has broken not only rules, but those of his own clan in his growing anger. The darkness spills from him in waves, his teeth bright and locked in a snarl.

"I will kill him if he comes here."

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan warns, twisting painfully, disregarding his back as he grabs at Wei Ying's arm.

"Stop this. Don't give in to it. They are my wounds, my choice. Uncle must punish me as he would any other. Please, don't do this."

[yiling_laozu]

Came here at the beginning of the strikes.

"The beginning," Wei Wuxian repeats, watching as the ugly wounds twist as Lan Wangji tries to look at him. The darkness swirling around them begins to slow, not as if to disappear, but honing, sharpening, a predator searching for its prey. "How many strikes were there to be?"

[lan_wangji]

"No," he huffs, the cloths sliding off his back as he grunts softly with the effort of turning all the way around on the overly soft bed.

"Enough. Wei Ying, please. Tired. And you, thought I'd lost you and now you're here and..." he trails off, throat tight as exhaustion and worry catch up to him. He cannot lose him to this, again. "Please."

[yiling_laozu]

"They hurt you," Wei Wuxian snarls, and the buzzing lights over their heads flicker. "You, Lan Wangji, the best of all of us, and they dared - "

He staggers backwards, clutching at his breast and the Stygian Tiger Seal resting just over his heart. Understanding the sudden feeling of an eruption deep within him, Wei Wuxian turns, coughing blood over his lips and chin as his body rejects the too fierce power coursing through him.

"No right," he says, fatigued but still angry as he swipes a hand across his chin, wishing more than ever for a drink. "They had no right."

[lan_wangji]

"Not best, not best," Lan Zhan insists, stumbling to his shaking legs. He opens his mouth to explain that Lan Zhan was a coward, that he deserved the whipping not for breaking rules but for failing Wei Ying but it is all lost as blood spills from Wei Ying's lips.

It cannot all be happening again. The seal is gone, the corruption should have died with him.

He immediately moves to jam two fingers above Wei Ying's heart, ready tongive whatever is needed to stabilize him.

[yiling_laozu]

"Don't," Wei Wuxian says, wrapping his unsteady hand around Lan Wangji's wrist. "You're already weakened, don't make it worse." He only needs rest, he's sure - he hadn't gotten much during Wen Qing's enforced paralysis, and he can't recall the last good night's sleep he had before that.

"Go back to the bed, Lan Zhan. Let me put the salve on you."

[lan_wangji]

He straightens up as he can manage, looking resolute despite the fine lines and sweat betraying pain and exhaustion.

"Only if Wei Ying rests after. Here, with me," he warns, lowering his hand. If Wei Ying is in the same state he'd died in, Lan Zhan could lose him just as easily.

[yiling_laozu]

No part of Wei Wuxian wants to sleep in these ugly, too bright rooms. He wants to return to the burial grounds and let their energies recharge him, but he knows Lan Wangji would stubbornly follow him there. Better to rest now, and slip away when he is able.

"Fine," he answers, looking up at him. "Now go back to the bed before your wounds fester."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan levels an unimpressed stare before turning and lowering himself slowly back down. He needs rest, badly, to be able to think clearly.If Wei Ying is still somehow harnessing resentful energy and has no memory of his death, Lan Zhan must ensure a different outcome this time.

But for now, he hurts and he hasn't slept for days and he just wants Wei Ying to stay.

"Did not mean to upset you," he murmurs. "Just did not want to lie."

[yiling_laozu]

"You are not the one who did wrong," says Wei Wuxian darkly. Is there no one left safe, if there are those who would put hands on even Hanguang-Jun? Even if she hates him, Wei Wuxian longs to go to his shijie, to take her from that awful clan and keep her protected.

He sighs, resettling himself behind Lan Wangji on the bed. "I'm sure it will hurt," he murmurs, before coating the first long, angry wound in thick paste.

[lan_wangji]

He nods and spends the next few moments carefully regulating his breathing and heartbeat to try and remain as calm as possible. It hurts very much but a reaction will only serve to further upset Wei Ying and deplete his own energy.

"Thank you," he whispers, reaching back to wrap his fingers around the edge of Wei Ying's robe, as if he could disappear if Lan Zhan is not constantly watching. "Glad Wei Ying found me."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian focuses on smearing the paste evenly, covering all the angriest portions of Lan Wangji's wounds in thick salve. It still makes him furious to look upon, but his head throbs behind his eyes, and he can see Lan Wangji trembling as he fights to hold back his body's reaction. It's enough to keep him silent.

Until, at last, "There. Let me put this on again tomorrow, and you should heal nicely."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan nods again, not bothering to replace the ruined inner robes as he carefully turns to look at the strange, large, overly soft bed. He would be scandalized, embarrassed even to be going to bed in such an undressed state but he is simply too tired. He will be scandalized in the morning, he decides.

He glares up at the glowing light affixed to the ceiling and carefully lies down on his stomach, the position unnatural but the blanket under his cheek soft and oddly enticing. "Stay," he implores, eyes finding Wei Ying's where he sits on the bed. "Promised."

[yiling_laozu]

He's tired without being sleepy, his body worn but his mind alive and screaming, as it is almost every night. He blots out the sound of screams occasionally screeching through his mind from the Seal and moves to the chair, but not before dragging one of the blankets up as far as Lan Wangji's waist. He'll be warm, even if he isn't properly covered, for the room holds a sort of artificial chill.

"Should I - " he starts, holding another blanket between his hands before folding it into some semblance of a long, thin pillow. "Will this help?"

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan blinks sleepily up at Wei Ying, mind slowing as it takes a moment to register what he is offering.

"Y'need rest," he mumbles, smoothing a hand over the empty side of the bed before tucking it back against his body. The light overhead does not seem to be dimming with time, as a candle ought to and he sends an irritated burst of energy upwards, pleased when a popping noise is followed by darkness, finally.

"Sleep here."