For Wei Ying - Flying

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan had started making a mental list, lately. It is not so different from the almost unconscious observations he'd made about Wei Ying when they were young, but now more laden with affection. There are, in spite of everything, things that seem to still bring Wei Ying brief moments of joy. Thus far it largely involves meat pastries and dangerous water activities but Wei Ying had mentioned flying. And Lan Zhan has found a lake.

He hopes the fly will soften the conversation they must have.

He arrives at the graveyard, stifling a sigh at the fact that Wei Ying still will not live anywhere proper, laden with dinner and Bichen.

He does not immediately see him and stands still, waiting. "Wei Ying?"

Comments

[yiling_laozu]

He's gone as far to accept some sort of sleeping sack, and he has to admit it's more comfortable than the grass or the hay he'd slept on before. Still, Wei Wuxian only rests properly when Lan Wangji plays for him, and he emerges from behind a mausoleum sleep rumpled and bleary eyed.

"Ey?" he replies. The sun is higher in the sky than he expected, and Wei Wuxian realizes he must have fallen into an exhausted sleep sometime while the sun was climbing. He rubs at his eyes, peering at Lan Wangji. "Lan Zhan? Is that food?"

[lan_wangji]

"Mm, want to take Wei Ying to a lake. Have brought us dinner. Promised I would take you flying, if you still desire it," he says, holding up one of the strange, transparent sacks with packed containers of food. He had managed to find a shop with writing familiar to him and food more familiar.

"Wei Ying can swim there, if he likes."

[yiling_laozu]

Stomach rumbling, Wei Wuxian comes forward at once, only to pause for the offer of flight. "We will fly there?" he asks, unable to help his smile. Riding the waves with his body had been fun, but there's nothing quite like flying through the air.

"But why a lake?" he murmurs to himself, quick-minded yet with a memory like a sieve. Does Lan Wangji want to swim, too? "Ah!" Wei Wuxian points. "Lan Zhan wishes to float."

[lan_wangji]

"Wish to understand the enjoyment of it," he concedes, unsheathing Bichen to float between them, waiting.

"Wish to eat with Wei Ying. Wish to talk with Wei Ying, also," he says, not wanting to trap him into speaking without any sort of warning. He does not know how to say any of it without upsetting him, but the least he can do is not tell it in this dismal graveyard.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian's brows lift. "What about?" he asks, hesitating before stepping onto Bichen. "Lan Zhan will not leave me out there if you do not like my answers, will you?" The question is only half in jest - Lan Wangji has threatened to stab him before to stop the endless torrent from Wei Wuxian's mouth. It was years ago, but it made an impression.

[lan_wangji]

"Have information this time for Wei Ying, not questions," he clarifies, stepping on behind Wei Ying and hesitating only for a moment before wrapping an arm firmly around his waist. He knows his ears will burn quite red from the proximity but Wei Ying plummeting off is not an option.

"If Wei Ying is upset, Wei Ying can even leave Lan Wangji behind. Promise," he states, ready to hand Bichen over at a moment's notice.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian cannot even lift Bichen, let alone fly on it, but he says nothing as Lan Wangji wraps an arm around his waist. He's grateful for the support - he's quite adept in his new cultivation, but he's not yet tested it on a sword, and he has no desire to fall.

"Nearly everyone I love is dead or hates me, Lan Zhan," he says. "I don't see how you could upset me."

[lan_wangji]

There is nothing to say to refute that, nothing that he thinks would not break Wei Ying in a way he may not come back from. Lan Zhan would count it a blessing that Wei Ying's memory is lacking if he were not so constantly afraid of its sudden return.

At least tonight, he might impart some good news.

He shifts his weight back just a little, sending Bichen gliding smoothly into the air, Lan Zhan's spiritual power keeping them both airborne and steady. Wei Ying's weight is not nearly what it should be, is clear.

"Lake is in the country, quiet. A few homes," he comments, the air growing cooler as the city lights grow smaller underneath their feet. He would like a home like that, along the water. Private and quiet.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian forgets his dark thoughts as the ground rushes away from them. For the first time in years, he is flying, and he nearly holds out his arms to feel the air rush over them. "I met someone who lives in the country!" he tells Lan Wangji, nearly turning around in his excitement before he remembers where they are.

"We don't have to live in those too bright rooms after all."

[lan_wangji]

He grips Wei Ying more tightly as he starts to squirm and gives a curt nod, focusing on keeping the sword balanced.

He is unsurprised that Wei Ying has met yet another person but in this, he finds himself pleased. "Also know of one who lives in the country. Do not know how to procure such a place but I will ask. If Wei Ying would want that. Could leave the graveyard. Will find you a such a place," he promises, totally ignorant as to how but willing to not rest until it is done if Wei Ying will leave that wretched place.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian isn't certain he can leave the burial grounds. Familiarity is part of his connection to the old graves, but it isn't the entire reason. The Stygian Tiger Seal needs to eat, and if it doesn't have spirits, it turns to him instead.

Still, sleeping somewhere kinder appeals to his aching bones, enough that Wei Wuxian nearly sags in his arms. "It would be nice if it could look like our homes," he murmurs, remembering too late the burden this might place on Lan Wangji. "You don't have to, Lan Zhan," he says, touching on something that's long plagued him. "You don't owe me anything."

[lan_wangji]

He stiffens, unable to stifle a flare of hurt at the insinuation. Lan Zhan knows he is cold, knows he has not been the friend he ought to have been, but he did think Wei Ying at least understood his intention to be that of friendship.

"Do not feel I owe Wei Ying," he says, although he does, he does owe him but that is not where this drive is rooted. "Wei Ying is my friend. Want you to be happy. Want to take care of you."

He feels, intensely, their proximity and his embarrassment at his own boldness.

"Does that make you uncomfortable?"

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian stiffens for the question. He is uncomfortable, but not due to anything Lan Wangji has done. No one takes care of him, no one save for shijie, and look how Wei Wuxian has repaid her.

"Lan Zhan is my friend, also," he says. "I thought you - " he says and stops, the words so close to his lips. He thought Lan Wangji would be the one to stop him if he went too far, that he would save him, even if it meant death. It feels like too much when they are riding on the flat of a sword.

"Our entire world hates me," he says instead. "How can I bring that shame to Gusu, also? I know why you didn't stay when you visited me, Lan Zhan. I didn't blame you for it."

[lan_wangji]

He is grateful for the glimmer of the lake appearing over a hill, afraid his unsteadiness will extend to Bichen and put them both in danger. He starts a slow descent, aiming for a stretch of shore with no houses visible.

"I was forbidden from leaving when I visited you," he admits, knowing it does not make up for the shame of him leaving them behind but wanting to try and explain his cowardice. "Punished when I returned home. Brother tried to understand and I know I made life more difficult for him, but I should have come back. Was difficult to get away and I was afraid. But never shamed of Wei Ying."

[yiling_laozu]

The words are remarkable, and Wei Wuxian will later curse himself for losing them to his sudden anger. He turns his head sharply, grateful that they're close enough to the earth that he can leap down and face Lan Wangji. "This was not - " he starts, reaching towards him, fingers tight around Lan Wangji's shoulder as he turns him to look at his back.

"Your scars are from visiting me?"

[lan_wangji]

"That punishment was kneeling," he spits out, panicking a little as Wei Ying leaps out of his hold and onto the thankfully close ground. He hops off Bichen, sword re-sheathing itself as he faces the surprising ire.

"Scars from something else, something after I lost Wei Ying." He holds up the food as a shield and a peace offering. "Something that I did. Not something you caused."

[yiling_laozu]

He isn't any less outraged that his own clan dared to lay a finger on Lan Wangji, but that it isn't the result of a simple visit to Yiling does lessen the fury roiling through his insides. Wei Wuxian fingers loosen their grip on Chenqing.

"Lan Zhan," he says, "You are so sure I died. But I'm standing here, aren't I? You know I'm not a corpse or a ghost."

[lan_wangji]

He sets down the food on a flat patch of grass and straightens up carefully, measuring his words.

People arrive in this place after death, seemingly regularly," he answers. "But I did not want to argue with you. Did not want to discuss that. Something else," he offers, gesturing at the food.

He'd managed to procure some sort of diced chicken and vegetables over rice that promised to be spicy and rich.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian sits, as unnerved as ever by Lan Wangji's insistence that he is dead. He would remember dying, wouldn't he? His memory is awful, but surely that would leave an impression.

He reaches for the food, and as soon as the smell reaches him the clamor of his empty stomach outweighs his anxious thoughts. "It's spicy!" he realizes. "It's so hard to find spicy food here."

[lan_wangji]

"Found a shop that serves food more like our own," he answers, sitting neatly on the ground and withdrawing his own dish of vegetables and tofu and perhaps more ginger than would be strictly allowed in Gusu Lan Sect.

"Owners speak in a tongue more like our own, writing more like our own," he says before stopping in order to eat. He wants to ensure Wei Ying has actually eaten before they speak as distraction seems to inhibit him from remaining well fed on a regular basis.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian folds his legs beneath himself, shoveling large mouthfuls of the hot chicken past his lips as he listens. It's comforting to think that there are people like themselves here, when everything else his eyes fall upon is strange.

"Do they dress as we do, also?" he asks. "Or do they wear the funny little pants everyone else favors?"

[lan_wangji]

"Dress as the others in the city do," he says after carefully setting down his food. The rule could be bent for Wei Ying, but not entirely broken.

"They did not react to my appearance as obviously as others do, but I know I seemed strange to them."

The staring is not so terribly different at home but then it had been tinged with awe or fear. Here is seems to be amusement, as if they are some sort of spectacle. He hates it for Wei Ying who he knows could assimilate to this loud, diverse place so much more easily than Lan Wangji ever could.

"Strange that they wear so little clothing, everywhere they go. Do not understand why they wear their hair as they do."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian snorts into his rice. "So many of the men look like babies with such short hair. Or as if they've been attacked by a sword and managed to keep their head and nothing else." He tries then for a moment to picture Lan Wangji with such a hairstyle, only to laugh all over again.

"Your topknot looked very nice, Lan Zhan," he says, "But please don't cut your hair."

[lan_wangji]

"Never!" he huffs, looking affronted at even the thought. Wei Ying is right, the men look like overgrown children. "It is a sign of maturity, long hair. Why would one want to look as they did when they were a baby? There is no sense in it."

He is pleased to hear so, however, pleased that Wei Ying will not be cutting his lovely hair any time soon.

"Wei Ying does not wish to dress more as they do? As he did at the beach? You would not be stared at, as much. Could be part of them," he tries to explain, unsure if he expressed himself clearly. He does not want it, fears it, but Wei Ying ought to have many friends and surely it would be easier if he looked more like them.

[yiling_laozu]

This earns him another snort, one far less amused. "I could not even be a part of my own people at home," he reminds him. "My own family. How could I be a part of anything here? Besides," he says, forcing lightness back into his voice.

"I look best in robes, don't you think?" He sets down his bowl. "Am I handome, Lan Zhan?"