For Wei Ying

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji knows that he has long been incapable of denying Wei Ying almost anything. He indulges his every whim and desire, thrilled at the chance to do so. He wonders, now, if Wei Ying knows the increased power he now holds every time he casually refers to Lan Wangji as zhàngfū.

When Wei Ying had sped out of the house in a flurry of tangled hair and robes, laden with coin for whatever his pursuits would be that day, Lan Wangji had found himself simply watching the space he'd occupied for several long moments. Ridiculous.

He must be productive today, must do something other than pine for his husband who has been gone only hours.

The day is horribly, irritatingly hot as they have been as of late and he is glad for the privacy of their home as he strips down to only his inner robe and pants to complete work that has gone neglected due to their considerable amount of time spent indulging in other pursuits, post wedding. His hair is tied up in a neat bun and every cooling charm he can muster cast as he carries soil and flowers down to the altar.

He has never spoken of his mother to anyone, not even Brother after she had gone and he had finally understood. He is ashamed of this. He imagines Xichen wanted to speak of her, remember her with the only other person who did not detest her and Lan Wangji had denied him that. His robes are damp with sweat and face flushed when he finally sits back on his knees, assessing the small, purple flowers of the juvenile gentian tree and the circle of yellow chrysanthemums surrounding the altar.

While it may have been a prison, the gentians are the most tangible reminder he has of her and he wonders if there is such a thing for Wei Ying. It is far past time that he asked.

Comments

[yiling_laozu]

After the fourth time he finds himself gazing longingly at the river that winds through the park, Wei Wuxian gives up and decides to return home where he can swim without being scolded. The day is simply too hot and the air too close to accomplish anything meaningful, so he might as well enjoy himself. Perhaps he can convince his husband to swim, too!

The thought puts him in considerably better spirits, though they dampen somewhat during the long, sweaty ride home. Even the breeze on his cheeks is too warm, and Wei Wuxian is a mess of sweaty robes and wild, frizzy hair by the time he finally launches himself off his bike in their yard to head inside.

He stops, though, before crossing the threshold, something blue and yellow in the corner of his vision. Had that been there before? Surely even he would have noticed it. Wei Wuxian opens his mouth to call for Lan Wangji when he realizes there’s another smudge of pale blue against the blooms. Sensing suddenly that perhaps he’s not meant to disturb, Wei Wuxian peels off his heavy, outer robes and approaches quietly.

[lan_wangji]

He hears Wei Ying arriving, no great feat as he arrives as always with a whirlwind of clattering noise. He remains where he is, smiling softly as Wei Ying creeps closer and turns his head to greet him.

Wei Ying is damp with sweat just as Lan Wangji is, already disrobing but far more serious than Lan Wangji is used to upon his arrivals. He wonders, suddenly, if he ought to have consulted Wei Ying before planting the flowers. It is his family's altar, as well.

"We have both been bested by the heat," he murmurs, reaching out a hand, wanting Wei Ying to sit with him.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian takes it, passing his other hand through his hair in an attempt to smooth it. No matter how much either of them try, it’s never as neat as Lan Wangji’s. “I missed you,” he says, as if to explain his earlier than usual arrival.

“And the cool of the river,” he admits, a cautious tilt to his head. Lan Wangji had said nothing of gardening today, let alone here. “Have I interrupted?”

[lan_wangji]

"Of course not, never interrupting," Lan Wangji says, pulling him close to kiss his sweaty temple. "Missed you as well."

"Sit, I will fix your hair." He gestures to the space in front of him, in front of the small gentian tree and tugs on the ribbon losing its battle with Wei Ying's hair. "Realized I should have asked you before doing this. I apologize."

[yiling_laozu]

Privately Wei Wuxian thinks Lan Wangji has no hope at all in taming his hair, but he sits in front of him anyway. "I don't mind," he says. "It is our shrine. Nothing you could do here would upset me." One of the few things that could would be desecrating shijie's shrine somehow, and of course Lan Wangji would never.

He gazes at the flowers before him. They look too neat to be a whim, but a Lan's design could only ever be meticulous, no matter the reason. "I didn't know you wanted to garden here."

[lan_wangji]

"Uncertain why I did not tell you," Lan Wangji murmurs, gathering Wei Ying's sweat damp, tangled mass of hair up until his pale neck is exposed, hoping to provide some relief from the heat as he tackles the challenge.

"The house my mother lived in until she died had a tree like this. House was an unpleasant place for her but she liked the flowers. But should have asked you what you would have liked."

He is uneasy with shame that he failed to ask. That he did this in secret, thought only of his own family. He knows he has told Wei Ying a little of his mother but does not understand why he still holds the memory of her so close.

[yiling_laozu]

That gathers Wei Wuxian's scattered thoughts. He looks up, but unlike before, has no mirror to show him Lan Wangji's face behind him. "I like the flowers," he murmurs. "The blue reminds me of you, and they are lovely regardless."

He fiddles with his thumbnail. "She didn't like the house because she was locked within it," Wei Wuxian recalls. "I would not like such a place either, no matter its beauty."

[lan_wangji]

Wei Ying's kind words does not dispel his unease and he vows to find a way to honor Wei Ying's own parents. The lotus pond is a reminder of his shijie, Lan Wangji knows, and the Wei family deserves the same.

"Unfair," he says, long fingers carefully gathering Wei Ying's somewhat tamed hair onto the top of his head to start twisting a neat bun. The nape of his neck is damp with sweat and devastatingly lovely as always and he does not stop himself from leaning in for a quick kiss. "Allowed visits once per month," he murmurs against Wei Ying's skin before sitting back up, spine straight and tense as he forces his hands to remain gentle. "Told she was locked away because she was bad. Did not seem so. Did not believe them."

[yiling_laozu]

"What could she have done to have deserved a lifetime of confinement?" Wei Wuxian wonders. The very idea of being locked away makes him shudder - he'd far prefer death, himself. "Did no one ever tell you why?" he asks, twisting to look at Lan Wangji despite the other's hands in his hair.

"Did your brother know?"

[lan_wangji]

He is careful not to pull Wei Ying's hair as he twists around, clenching his jaw as he tries to put words to what he'd never been allowed to voice. The few times he had tried to defend his mother were met with swift admonishment.

Two careful breaths pass as he forgoes a more intricate knot to finish tying a simple bun, knowing he ought to face his husband for this discussion. Even if it is far more distressing.

"Killed a Gusu Clan teacher," he states, hands folding back into his lap as he ties off Wei Ying's ribbon, eyes cutting away as he cannot quite bring himself to look at Wei Ying's wide, kind eyes. "Reason not given. She did not belong to the Clan. Told Father married her to spare her life."

[yiling_laozu]

Whatever Wei Wuxian had been expecting, it hadn’t been murder. That is horrendous, yes, and yet...”That is terribly sparse, Lan Zahn,” he says. “You are to accept that you cannot see your own mother more than once a month on nothing more than that? What if she had her reasons?” He asks, growing impassioned.

“Perhaps she thought the person was a fierce corpse! Perhaps it was a fierce corpse! Good people are misunderstood all the time!”

[lan_wangji]

He takes a shaky breath in and out, reaching out to squeeze Wei Ying's hand. He did not want to anger him but what Wei Ying says is true, is what Lan Wangji has thought over and over since he was old enough to question the small bits of information that Shufu had told him.

The parallels between his mother and Wei Ying are not lost on him. Nor were they lost on his Brother.

"She was gone before I was old enough to question," he says, staring at the small tree and then finally back at Wei Ying's angry face. "Father did not see us often, would not speak of it. I - I had trouble accepting her absence. Did not think to ask questions until later."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian's hand shakes inside Lan Wangji's grip. "One parent imprisoned," he murmurs, "The other tight-lipped. That is not acceptable!" he says, banging their joined hands against his knee. "Your uncle should have told you the truth at least. You were grown when we met - he could have told you then."

Wei Wuxian scowls. Lans and their rules. See what becomes of them? "Your clan treated you poorly."

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji breathes, voice faint as he frowns down at the new flowers and his husband's white knuckled hand. His family handled the subject of his Mother badly but he cannot bring himself to chastise them so broadly. Lan Wangji had been very much like them in many ways before he knew another way to be. And even then, change had come too late.

"Is not what I meant to bring up. I just - miss her and want her to be known. She was not known but to myself and my Brother. Now to you. Do not know how she died, if she is at rest but she can be, here."

[yiling_laozu]

The uncharacteristic weakness of Lan Wangji's voice pulls Wei Wuxian back from the worst of his ire. He gentles his grip, holding Lan Wangji's hand in comfort now. "We will make a safe space for her here," he murmurs. "And maintain the flowers she loved so much."

He reaches down, touching one of the blooms with a fingertip. "These remind me of you." As the must remind Lan Wangji of his mother. "Will you tell me about her?"

[lan_wangji]

"If we have a space for my mother, we must have one for your parents as well," he insists, pausing to try and do his best to sum up what she had been, to speak words he'd never spoken before.

"Kind, affectionate," he finally manages, brow pinched and muscles taught as he forces himself not to retreat inward as he always has. "Hugged me even though I would not hug back. She was there and then the house was empty. Was very confusing."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian smiles a little, sensing the rigidness in his husband. He releases his hand and throws an arm around him instead, holding him in the way that had always infuriated Lan Wangji so when they first met.

"Was she like you?" he asks. "Serious and reserved apart from her affection for her son? Or more like your brother, with an easy smile?"

[lan_wangji]

"Brother," he answers with a hint of a smile, letting himself lean against Wei Ying, dropping a solemn kiss on his cheek in thanks for Wei Ying's flawless understanding of Lan Wangji, even when Lan Wangji does not quite understand himself.

"I am much more like father, from what I knew of him."

He takes a fortifying breath and winds an arm in Wei Ying in return.

"Want to know of your own, as well. Do you remember anything?"

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian wants to ask more after this mysterious father, but finds himself blushing instead, oddly embarrassed. Wouldn't a more filial son would have more memories of the people that birthed him? "Not really," he answers, pulling his robes better around him despite the heat.

"I can't remember their faces. But I think...a laugh? I think I remember how my mother laughed. And how she made baba laugh, too. The way people who knew her have always acted around me, I think I must be like Mother."

[lan_wangji]

"From what I have heard, agree you are like her," Lan Wangji says, recalling his brother's comments about Shifu's confused irritation at her antics. He'd not made the connection when he was going through the same.

"You were young and unsafe after their death. Like your lost memories now, likely impacted by trauma. I am sorry you suffered."

[yiling_laozu]

"Your - " Wei Wuxian stops himself, adding a barely begrudging, "Our shufu seemed to know her well. I don't think he told me much out of spite. That's not a kind way to treat an orphan, is it?" he asks, glancing sideways at the shrine. Perhaps he shouldn't speak of Lan Qiren so, especially now that they are family, but it's always bothered him.

"He could have given me something."

[lan_wangji]

"It was not kind," Lan Wangji agrees, picking Wei Ying's hand up to kiss along every bony knuckle. He is in no position to defend Lan Qiren's kindness, not when the whipping he had ordered was Lan Wangji's last memory of him. Lan Wangji knows that his Uncle loved him in his way, but he also wishes he'd given Lan Wangji more of the information he sought of his own mother.

"Think he withheld from both you and I for similar reasons," he murmurs, offering a small bow towards the shrine. Lan Wangji hopes he cannot hear them and that he is alive and well, but one cannot be too careful. "Avoiding discussion of behavior that went against rules. Brother would sometimes hint that Shufu had been teased by your mother."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian doesn't bow, though he does dispel the faint scowl on his face as a concession. "He did seem to have it out for me right away. Even sooner than most!" says Wei Wuxian, who leaves a long line of disgruntled cultivators wherever he goes.

"If he didn't want to hear about demonic cultivation in such detail, he shouldn't have asked me in the first place. That was his own fault."

[lan_wangji]

"That is one interpretation of that interaction," Lan Wangji murmurs with a huff as he pulls Wei Ying close and plops him in his lap. Perhaps he hopes a little that his family can see him, see how clearly he is with Wei Ying, is wed to Wei Ying. Happy with Wei Ying.

"Think on what you would add to the flowers," he says, hands smoothing across Wei Ying's hips. "Did not mean to upset you. I've never spoken of any of that, my discomfort should not discourage you from talking freely about your own experiences."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian cuddles in close despite the sweat still clinging to them both. "We already have lotuses," he notes. "Perhaps another purple flower by the altars, for Yungmeng Jiang." He's not part of their sect anymore, but they are still his family, however regrettable the remaining Jiangs might find that.

"And - " he says, hesitating. "Something red. For my poor Yiling family."

[lan_wangji]

"Of course," he says with a kiss to Wei Ying's temple. The Wens. He'd been remiss in forgetting them and vows not to make the same mistake in the future.

"Red camellia for the Wens," Lan Wangji decides, pulling back just enough to start undoing Wei Ying's belt. It is hot and the day has been emotional. They deserve a swim. "Purple Iris for Yungmeng Jiang. Come swim with me?"

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian doesn't know flowers well, but he trusts Lan Wangji to have such a refined, delicate skill for picking them out, and so he nods. He catches the Qiankun bag that holds his little fury and places it on the ground, shrugging messily out of the rest of his robes, eager now to be in the water.

"Ah, Lan Zhan, let me take it all off today. It's too hot for underrobes, even in the water!"

[lan_wangji]

"Hold no authority over Wei Ying's nudity when at home," Lan Wangji insists, gesturing towards the nearby cool water as he tries to gather Wei Ying's robes into something of an organized pile.

He likes to think he holds a lot of authority over Wei Ying's nudity outside of their property, however, and has a certificate of marriage to prove it. While he is still dedicated to find a way to shield their property from passing boats, he does enjoy every inch of Wei Ying laid bare to him like this.

He rises, slowly and carefully peeling off his own robes, keeping one eye trained on the muted squirms and shrieks coming from Wei Ying's bag. Wanyin, indeed.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian dives into the river pool, surfacing with a dramatic spray of water as he gasps in delight. It feels absolutely heavenly after his long, wretched bike ride home. He treads water, eying Lan Wangji eye his bag. "He's out of sorts because he hasn't eaten much today," he says. "I'll take him out tonight so he doesn't throw another terrible tantrum."

The still chipped wood of their walls would surely appreciate it.

[lan_wangji]

"Wants to eat you," Lan Wangji mutters as he neatly folds both he and Wei Ying's robes at the edge of the river, stepping neatly out of his boots. Pants still firmly on.

He had warned Wei Ying that the first chicken to go missing would spell the end of Wanyin and it is a threat he meant to stick to. He's even put a tracking and warning spell on Bunny and Cat, jut in case.

And Jin Rulan shortly after.

The water is blessedly cool as he wades in, glad for the relief as the heat somehow manages to make his scars red and agitated. While he would never wish for anything but their home together, he does long for the cool summers of the Cloud Recesses.

"Swim here," he states, pointing to the water inches in front of him.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian doesn't bother denying that. Wanyin does want to eat him, but Wei Wuxian thinks that it is learning. Everyday, Wei Wuxian wields resentful energy, and everyday instead of letting it fester inside him, he feeds it to Wanyin. Already he thinks Wanyin has made note of this. Even hell beasts must learn not to bite the hand that feeds.

His lips quirk for the order, but he swims up close, body folded so that he's chin deep in the water before Lan Wangji.

[lan_wangji]

"Mm," he hums happily at Wei Ying's compliance, running wet fingers through escaping tendrils of Wei Ying's hopeless hair before folding himself down into the water. He gathers Wei Ying close again, eyes closing in pleasure as the cold water covers his hot back and laps at the back of his exposed neck.

"Want you this close, always. Marriage has made me ridiculous," he murmurs into the side of Wei Ying's neck, broad hands running down Wei Ying's back. "Stay home tomorrow."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian grins, forgetting that he's been terribly hot all day. Lan Wangji's big, warm hands feel wonderful against his newly chilled skin, and he wraps his arms around his neck. "I don't have any appointments," he says, as if he wouldn't immediately throw them aside for his husband. "I ought to train Wanyin some more at some point, but..."

He kisses the side of Lan Wangji's throat, perhaps to ward off any complaint. "That can be any time."

[lan_wangji]

The tactic works as Lan Wangji's somewhat level headed argument against the very existence of Wanyin (having been repeated several times to no avail) is reduced to a long suffering sigh and a tilt of his head to give Wei Ying better access.

"Student yesterday told me we ought to be taking a honey moon. It seems to be a period of rest following marriage where a couple secludes themselves in a location," he states, long fingers sliding down to cup Wei Ying's ass, pleased as always at how perfectly it fits. "They could not explain the strange name."

[yiling_laozu]

"A honey moon," Wei Wuxian murmurs. "Like, a sweet night? Just for the two of us. But we are secluded out here already, Lan Zhan," he notes. "Should we go somewhere else?" It's not their custom, but Wei Wuxian hardly minds trying new things.

"I wish there was somewhere like Gusu we could visit," he adds. It isn't fair that he gets to recreate Yunmeng here, but Lan Wangji has nothing of home. "Some mountain, clean and cold."