For Wei Ying - post blindfold kiss

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji has not slept in over twenty four hours. He'd been awash and shame and drunkeness until enough hours had passed that he was then left with shame and a state of vomiting he assumes was from the alcohol. Hanguang-Jun does not vomit and certainly does not vomit in a shared washroom. But apparently Lan Zhan of Odinhaus does all of these things.

He'd taken advantage of Wei Ying. He'd taken his first kiss, by force, and under shameful cover. He'd taken pleasure in Wei Ying's body and it had taken hours of drunken meditation to get himself under control. The weather had been unpleasant and icy the day after the party so he thinks his absence will not be read into by Wei Ying but by day 2 he knows that not even checking in with Wei Ying would be suspicious.

And cruel.

He can't be even more cruel. He wraps himself up in his warmest robes, grabs a new bottle of wine and walks through the snow towards Heimdallhaus. The sun is bright in the sky and if it were any other day, he would enjoy a walk in the woods, enjoying the quiet that snow always brings. But Lan Zhan does not deserve such things.

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[lan_wangji]

The kiss is very sweet and still magnificently shocking but for the teasing, Lan Zhan wraps an arm firmly around Wei Ying's back before he stands, pulling them both up without warning.

"Hanguang-Jun only touches Wei Wuxian," he murmurs, moving to set Wei Ying's legs back onto the ground. "Only Wei Wuxian has ever made Hanguang-Jun feel this way."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian gasps and laughs as he is bodily lifted, keeping his arms around Lan Wangji's neck even after his feet are on the ground. "Lan Zhan will make me swoon," he teases, only half-joking as he sets his hands to Lan Wangji's robes and rights them first. His own are even messier, the black doing little to hide it, but Wei Wuxian only shrugs and reties them. If need be, he'll simply faceplant into the snow if they pass anyone. He's done far worse to save face for another.

Reaching down, he laces their hands together. "Lan Zhan," he says, more and more enamored of the idea of getting Lan Wangji beneath one of Odin's strange showerheads the longer he thinks on it, "Let's hurry."

[lan_wangji]

He can feel his ears burning as Wei Ying finishes up straightening his own robes, proof of their passion so visible.

He wishes he could tell Wei Ying that he likes it. He likes what it means, he likes that anyone could see it and know that they are one. While he knows Wei Ying would find the sentiment amusing, he's not quite as brave as before.

"Mm."

His hands slides into Wei Ying's as they hurry out of the stables back into blindingly white snow, pausing long enough to scoop up the jar of abandoned wine. He feels as if he is walking entirely outside of himself, their joined hands the only point of contact. Lan Wangji ought to meditate, ought to immediately realign his Qi and return to a level state but he does not want to. He wants more Wei Ying.

[yiling_laozu]

It says something that Wei Wuxian has forgotten the wine, but he brightens when he sees it dangling from Lan Wangji's free hand. "I can't believe I've found something even better than wine," he laughs, squeezing Lan Wangji's large hand within his own.

Luckily, the stables aren't far from Odinhaus, and the snow isn't so deep so as to slow their steps. Wei Wuxian is soon breathing in the warm air of Odinhaus interior, his cheeks flushed with the heat and with happiness both, and he tugs Lan Wangji past a small knot of students towards the floor he knows has the showers. He really should stop and get Lan Wangji fresh clothes first, but now that the thought of him beneath the spray is in his head, he can think of little else.

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan follows dutifully, confused to see Wei Ying moving through Odinhaus with such surety in a direction not leading to his room. The thought is still so new and outstanding that he does not realize they are standing in front of one of the few private showers on his floor.

"Wei Ying," he breathes, eyes wide at the thought of it, of seeing all of him. Being allowed to look at all of him. He nods, terrified his shock will be read as a rejection. He pushes the door open, fingers already itching to remove Wei Ying's top knot. There are so many places he has always longed to see and touch that he is already overwhelmed. "Want it."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian has the grace to blush. Surely it's not presumptuous to want to see Lan Wangji naked after they both made each other come a few feet removed from a donkey, but he doesn't fully relax until Lan Wangji fixes him with a hot look and says he wants it.

"All this time," says Wei Wuxian, advancing on him, "You called me shameless, when truly it was you." His fingers part Lan Wangji's outer robes and push them from his shoulders. There is so much he could do to him - half of it, Wei Wuxian barely comprehends, but just the budding knowledge that it exists, that Lan Wangji would let him - it lights a fire beneath Wei Wuxian's skin. "I want to kiss your scars," he says, allowing his thoughts to flow freely from his mouth as they occur to him. "All of them."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan's hand fumbles with the lock before he's backed against the wall and Wei Ying's hands are on him. For a second he has the urge to flinch away, entirely instinct after a lifetime without such intimate touch but he holds steady. He knows it is nonsensical to touch Wei Ying so freely and to yearn for his touch so badly and still be startled when he receives it. A touch to his bare skin feels so much more intimate.

"Too many," he whispers, knowing Wei Ying has seen them but in this context he wants to be...lovely. He wants to be lovely in Wei Ying's eyes and the scars are still so unsightly. He shrugs his top robes the rest of the way down his arms, the cool air a relief. His fingers move up to undo Wei Ying's hair, wanting to undo every part of him.

[yiling_laozu]

"I will make them better," promises Wei Wuxian against his ear, fingers moving against his inner robes now. He can't erase what's been done to Lan Wangji in his name, but he can worship every angry line, he can soothe the ache there with the promise of a lifetime of making up for it.

"I wore your inner robe in Gusu," he says, still speaking hot against his skin in the hopes of making Lan Wangji shudder. "Your uncle nearly swallowed his tongue." Wei Wuxian pushes every loose robe from Lan Wangji's shoulders and steps back, his mouth dry for the sight of the man before him. He's always known that Lan Wangji is strong, stronger certainly than himself, for Wei Wuxian would rather sleep than labor to strengthen his body when magic would do just fine, but even so the sight of him, corded muscles and all, steals the air from his lungs.

"Lan Zhan is so handsome," Wei Wuxian breathes, and then he ducks his head, pressing his lips to the angry scar on Lan Wangji's breast.

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji wants to shake his head, to tell Wei Ying not to look at them but the confession hot against his ear makes him lose his breath. Why would Wei Ying be wearing his clothes? Why were they ever close enough to do so?

It takes a moment to realize Wei Ying is staring and it feels thrilling and a little terrible all at once and the press of Wei Ying's lips against his bare skin is a revelation.

"Scars are still grotesque, just ignore" he argues weakly, fingers fumbling to undo Wei Ying's own robes. "Wei Ying is handsome. Wei Ying is beautiful."

[yiling_laozu]

"Wei Ying is covered in scars," Wei Wuxian reminds him, worrying the edge of the Wen crest with his teeth. The scar here is thick and knotted, but fresh enough for the nerve endings to remain alive, and Wei Wuxian nips with his teeth.

"This scarred flesh of yours is a history," he breathes, realizing the truth of it as it leaves his mouth. "So many pledges to Wei Ying." His breath trembles as he drags it back into his lungs. "I saw them all, but I only saw part of what they meant. My poor Lan Zhan."

[lan_wangji]

He shakes his head, breath hitching at the nip of Wei Ying's teeth, only half felt but more sensitive for it, somehow.

"Wei Ying's are different," he insists, though he knows such a statement is not fair. To demand that Wei Ying's body is beautiful and his to touch and not offer the same to Wei Ying is wrong, he knows this. But he doesn't want Wei Ying to have to touch them, to have to feel their deep divots and ridges and see them still inflamed after three years every time they touch but he has nothing else to offer him.

He undoes Wei Ying's belt, pushing aside layers of fabric before he sees skin. There is a trail of dark hair just below Wei Ying's navel and he wants to see where it goes, all of it. "Wei Ying saved MianMian with his. Fought for his. Back is worse in the light. Unpleasant to touch."

[yiling_laozu]

In response, Wei Wuxian drags his hand down Lan Zhan's back, fingertips gliding over every gnarled scar. His own robes are open, his dark hair tumbling freely down his back, and though Lan Zhan's eyes are fixed below his belly, Wei Wuxian spins him in his arms.

He pushes Lan Zhan's hair from his nape first, pressing a tender kiss to the spot after. "Not unpleasant," he says, lips drifting lower to trace the edge of the first angry, red scar. "Not ugly." The reason for them is ugly and hateful, but even the scars can't diminish the ethereal beauty of Lan Wangji. Ducking his head, Wei Wuxian finds the next one, his kisses gentle against the agonized skin despite his fervor.

[lan_wangji]

He drags in a sharp breath, shaking hands steadying himself against the wall as he fights the impulse to move away. The scars are overly sensitive in places and entirely unfeeling in others and Wei Ying understands, is not upset with him. He understands Lan Wangji and he has to lean his warm face against the cool tile wall to calm himself.

"Wei Ying," he gasps, squeezing his eyes shut as they start to burn. He's proud of his scars, proud of what they represent, but he'd never meant for Wei Ying to have to see them or touch them. No one has ever touched them, save for the impartial hands of the healers who had kept him alive. Done only the minimum. He can feel himself getting hard and it seems the wrong reaction but he cannot stop it. He just feels so much at all once. "Can't, can't describe. Can't find words."

[yiling_laozu]

He can feel him trembling, and Wei Wuxian settles his hands on his waist, holding him as his mouth continues its journey. He's long been curious about these scars, even after Lan Xichen explained their origin, but he never thought he'd get to touch, to apologize to every single one of them with the careful press of lips.

"Lan Zhan," he murmurs, "When have I ever needed words?"

In the stables, his rude brain reminds him, and Wei Wuxian laughs softly. Alright, he'd needed to hear that Lan Zhan desired him rather explicitly to finally understand, but in everything else, he and Lan Wangji have always been in sync. "Lan Zhan is beautiful," he says. "Even here."

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying deserves them," he protests, although very half-hearted as it is impossible to concentrate on anything with Wei Ying's mouth making it's way down his back. He dislikes that he cannot offer Wei Ying a smooth and beautiful body but he is grateful that Wei Ying truly does not seem to mind.

He settles one hand on top of Wei Ying's, fingers threading as he tries to control himself. He wants to turn around, wants to pin Wei Ying to the wall and undress him. He wants to do so many things he does not even understand how to do. "Desire Wei Ying. Burn for Wei Ying."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian shivers. He's only heard it a handful of times now, but he knows he'll never be over hearing such things in Lan Zhan's deep voice. His next kiss is openmouthed, and, inspired by nothing more than a strip of pale, white skin before his eyes, Wei Wuxian finds the delicate curve of Lan Zhan's side beneath his ribs and sucks, moaning a little as the warm flesh bows into his mouth.

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan is entirely startled at himself when he lets out a sharp moan, surely audible to anyone passing by but what was he to do? Wei Ying's mouth and teeth are on him and he manages to tug off his forehead ribbon and his hair pieces before whirling around to tug Wei Ying up against him.

"Off," he demands, trying to shove Wei Ying's robes all of the way off. He needs to touch, to put his mouth many places. He can see the edges of the mystery scar above Wei Ying's pants and knows that is where he must start. "Turn shower on. Cannot be quiet, not with Wei Ying."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian knows that Lan Zhan makes allowances for him, and still it is both startling and thrilling to see him cast off all his stern and careful habits simply out of desire for him. He blushes as Lan Zhan pushes his open robes from his shoulders, baring his torso entirely, quickly casting a hand behind him to bat at the shower nob. Water rushes suddenly down only a few steps away, but both their pants are still on. Wei Wuxian bites his lip, uncharacteristically shy. Lan Zhan has already touched him here, yet he can't recall the last time anyone saw him naked. Jiang Cheng, perhaps, when they were still boys.

Wei Wuxian fights the bashful instinct to cover himself, instead looking into Lan Zhan's dark eyes. "Lan Zhan," he says, "Kiss me first."

[lan_wangji]

Wei Ying is lovely. He is slim and pale and has patches of dark hair where Lan Wangji has little. His belly is perfectly flat and hipbones sharp. Lan Zhan very much would like to put his mouth on him but there is time for all of that, later.

He never has been able to deny Wei Ying something he desires. His hands come up to cradle Wei Ying's face, thumbs sliding along the sharp cut of his jaw as he kisses him. It's thrilling, as thrilling as the first time and he doesn't know what he will do if it feels this way every time. "Never seen anything as beautiful as Wei Ying," he whispers against his mouth.

[yiling_laozu]

Lan Zhan touches him with tenderness, and Wei Wuxian relaxes at once, all but melting into the kiss as soon as he receives it. The anxious beat of his heart calms, and the world falls away. Even the water striking the tiles is a distant clatter, and Wei Wuxian doesn't come back to himself until Lan Zhan speaks against his lips.

"Lan Zhan should spend more time before mirrors," he answers with a crooked smile.

[lan_wangji]

He barely suppresses a roll of the eyes and cannot at all suppress a small smile. Ridiculous. Lan Wangji has heard tale of his own good looks all his life but as something cold and hard, a piece of Jade. Wei Ying is beautiful and warm and animated. Wei Ying is sunlight.

He drops his hands down to his hips, feeling bold enough to tug lightly at the waistband of Wei Ying's pants. "Can Lan Zhan remove?" he murmurs, feeling his ears burn but far too overcome with desire to be properly ashamed at himself. "Wei Ying can if he wishes," he says, gesturing awkwardly at his own.

[yiling_laozu]

It's easier with Lan Zhan's hands on him, and Wei Wuxian nods, shivering even as warm steam fills the little room. It reminds him of the mists of Gusu, made warm by Lan Zhan's presence, and he puts his own hands on Lan Zhan's pants, steeling himself to push them down all at once.

Even though it's what's meant to happen, his eyes still go wide when Lan Zhan's cock springs free, bobbing against his abdomen. Wei Wuxian has never seen another man's erect cock, and he touches it without thinking, gasping when smooth, velvet skin meets his palm. "Lan Zhan is..." he says, staring. "He is so lovely, even here."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan is extremely torn between an instinctual embarrassment and desire to cover himself and a deep longing to see all of Wei Ying.

Wei Ying makes the decision for him as soon as he touches him there. It is startling, the difference between his own hand over a layer of clothing and Wei Ying's with nothing at all. His jaw drops and it takes a moment to gather himself enough to shove Wei Ying's pants down, baring him completely. The scar is the first thing he sees stretching low between Wei Ying's hips and he knows he is owed the story but this is not the time to collect. Wei Ying is hard for him, perfect. He pushes him backwards towards the hot water.

"Wei Ying is Lan Zhan's, forever. Lan Zhan is Wei Ying's. All of him."

[yiling_laozu]

Startled by the push, Wei Wuxian releases him, soon laughing again as Lan Zhan follows him into the water. "Lan Zhan is so surprising," he says, achingly fond, and tugs Lan Zhan until he's directly beneath the spray.

"You made a mess of yourself earlier," he says, helping the water to course over his abdomen, but in truth Wei Wuxian just wants another excuse to touch him. He's so warm, his skin so incongruously soft where it's stretched over such hardness - Wei Wuxian feels a little worshipful, but he's not quite sure what to do.

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying helped Lan Zhan make a mess," he points out, smiling softly as he lets the warm shower wet down his hair. It is warm and every place their bare skin brushes together is exquisite and he cannot believe he is allowed to have this.

His hand presses against Wei Ying's belly, fingers tracing the scar from one end to the other before grasping Wei Ying as he did in the barn, but now free to look as much as he wants.

"Not allowed to do this to one's self in Gusu Lan," he murmurs as he starts to move his hand, grip firm. "Would have dreams of Wei Ying, even early in knowing. Could not stop it in dreams."