For Wei Ying - Flying

[lan_wangji]

Lan Zhan had started making a mental list, lately. It is not so different from the almost unconscious observations he'd made about Wei Ying when they were young, but now more laden with affection. There are, in spite of everything, things that seem to still bring Wei Ying brief moments of joy. Thus far it largely involves meat pastries and dangerous water activities but Wei Ying had mentioned flying. And Lan Zhan has found a lake.

He hopes the fly will soften the conversation they must have.

He arrives at the graveyard, stifling a sigh at the fact that Wei Ying still will not live anywhere proper, laden with dinner and Bichen.

He does not immediately see him and stands still, waiting. "Wei Ying?"

Comments

[lan_wangji]

His fingers tighten in the material of Wei Ying's shirt and he is not certain if he is to let go as well but he finds he does not want to. It is illogical, it will not help him float but he simply does not want to. He wants to ensure that Wei Ying is with him, he wants solid proof.

He blinks up at him and nods, feeling very aware of his bare skin and the bright moonlight and the still startling revelation that he would let know one see him like this but Wei Ying.

"Glad you are here with me."

[yiling_laozu]

"Me too, Lan Zhan," says Wei Wuxian, patting his hand when it tightens in his sleeve. "I'm going to float next to you now."

He wants to dive beneath the water, but he makes himself lie back instead, drifting in the barely there breeze next to Lab Wangji. The urge strikes him suddenly, and he doesn't deny it, threading their fingers together so they don't separate.

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji clutches him back, chest a little tight with the thought that Wei Ying could simply float away from him, again. It had taken a split second to lose him, a failure of his grip and he was gone. It cannot happen, again.

"Like this more than I imagined I would," he murmurs, seeing Wei Ying's wild hair float into his own out of the corner of his eye. He likes this, very much. "Quiet, here. Back does not ache, here. Wei Ying is here."

[yiling_laozu]

"Here," he answers, "Floating in a lake with Hanguang-Jun." Wei Wuxian laughs then, soft and small. "Lan Zhan, I never thought we would do something like this." He hadn't even been entirely certain there was skin beneath Lan Wangji's pristine robes, and now he's put his hands on it. They never could have done this at home, not after everything that happened. There'd been no peace, only fight after bloody fight, but that feels far away now.

"Darrow isn't so terrible sometimes."

[lan_wangji]

"No," he agrees, squeezing Wei Ying's hand as if he could anchor them together in this spot forever. Darrow is loud and confusing and horribly foreign but it has given him back his heart and spared him from twenty nine lashes and three years of seclusion, left with nothing but his anger and his grief.

"Never would have thought to do it. Wonder sometimes what else I have not thought to do," he says, realizing perhaps he ought to have kept that thought, silent. "Does not mean Wei Ying should think of absurd things to do."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian snorts, thumb stroking absently over Lan Wangji's knuckles. "I do not think I have to try, Lan Zhan," he answers. "Most fun things are absurd when one cannot run or drink or even speak while eating."

The jibes are gently rendered, and Wei Wuxian shifts a little, dragging Lan Wangji's long body in an arc across the water. "Will you continue to live by your clan's rules now that they are so far away?" he asks. "All three thousand of them?"

[lan_wangji]

He takes in a quick, sharp breath as he is pulled through the water, wondering how keep they have gone before forcing himself still and serene yet again.

He would never live it down if he sank like a stone in front of Wei Ying.

"Clearly not all," he murmurs as he floats disrobed in a place outside of his jingshi or the healing pool. Alongside the infamous Yiling Patriarch. "Difficult to know what rules to disregard without compromising beliefs. Not speaking while eating is a good rule. Forbidding children from play seems less so. Unsettling."

[yiling_laozu]

"Unnatural," Wei Wuxian ventures, insulting Lan Wangji's clan, perhaps, but that rule has always been particularly repugnant to him. "You know how I feel about rules, Lan Zhan. I do what I feel is right and don't worry about the rest."

And yes, it's gotten him into considerable trouble, but his conscience has never suffered for it. "Darrow has remarkably few rules," he says, dipping his ear in the water as he sneaks a look at Lan Wangji. "Is it very maddening to you?"

[lan_wangji]

He tries to turn his head to see Wei Ying but can immediately feel himself slipping underneath the water and stares instead at the stars. It takes several centering breaths for him to continue, finding it more difficult to float as he grows more tense.

"Yes," he answers, forcing his fingers to stop clenching around Wei Ying's. "Hard to govern oneself without them when one is used to them."

It feels very much like a failing, it is a failing. To adhere to rules rather than what is right, the inability to know and act on what is right as Wei Ying does. It is wrong. "Hard to know what is preference to what has always been done. Want to be better."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian squeezes his hand after Lan Wangji has ceased doing his level best to crush his own, again soothing him with a thumb swept across his knuckles. "You mustn't upset yourself so much, Lan Zhan," he says. "Neither of us truly know what we're doing in this strange place. And," he adds, "You are already the best person I know. But if you are worried, why don't you try this? Decide what rules truly bring you comfort, and discard the ones that don't."

[lan_wangji]

That does not, that does not make it easier, he thinks, taking in another sharp breath as he tenses, needing to feel the ground underneath him. The idea is too large for him, today. To try and base decisions off his own comfort seems a monumental and dangerous task.

"Need to stand," he says, forcing his hips to stay up until Wei Ying says it is permitted. He could use his magic but it feels as if it would be a failure to do so, to end the lesson so.

"Not leave," he clarifies, fingers still firmly entwined. "Just, just stand."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian blinks, looking around them and finding they've drifted from the shore. It isn't any trouble for him to swim back, but he's wary of asking Lan Wangji to try, especially when he knows that if Lan Wangji puts his feet down, he won't find the bottom.

"Alright," he says, keeping hold of Lan Wangji's hand as he kicks himself closer. "Stay just as you are, Lan Zhan," he says, "I will bring us back to shore." He negotiates his body behind his in the water, curling an arm around his chest before he kicks again, carrying them in easy, gliding strokes back towards land. Soon enough, his heels strike earth, and Wei Wuxian releases him. "You can stand here, Lan Zhan."

[lan_wangji]

"Want to learn that next," he manages, righting himself in the water and curling a hand back in the material of Wei Ying's shirt. That was more helpless, even knowing his magic is strong, than he wants to ever be.

"Apologies. Liked the floating, just needed to stand," he says, water trailing off his long hair. The night air is cool against his wet skin and it makes it easier to focus. He does not know what to say, having interrupted their discussion. He does not know how to explain the agitation, although he thinks perhaps Wei Ying understands him, already. Perhaps better than he understands himself.

"Do not wish to go, yet."

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian nods, watching Lan Wangji with careful, attentive eyes. They're waist deep in the water, and Lan Wangji's hand is fisted tight in his new, colorful shirt. This silence does not feel like one of Lan Wangji's comfortable ones, but neither does it feel dismissive. It feels as if Lan Wangji is searching for something to say, or even not say, and Wei Wuxian smiles abruptly. Rarely does he meet a silence he doesn't fill. "Lan Zhan should have brought tea," he says. "It's chilly enough now that not even I would insult it for not being wine."

[lan_wangji]

His brow immediately furrows, looking Wei Ying up and down for any sign that he is too cold. He is so thin and Lan Wangji so rarely cold that it has entirely slipped his mind.

"Must change back to your dry clothes," he commands, grabbing at Wei Ying's arm instead, intent on marching him back to the privacy of the forest. He is grateful for the change in topic but curses his own neglect.

"I can make a fire. Can make you warm."

[yiling_laozu]

"I would like a fire," Wei Wuxian manages as he's dragged out of the water and towards the copse of trees. He's cold all the time, and he expects part of him will be cold still even near the flickering flames, but it will be welcome all the same.

"I liked floating with you, Lan Zhan. We will do it again, won't we?"

[lan_wangji]

He hums an affirmation, not letting go until they are near beginning of the treeline. "Must learn to return to shore as well," he says, a little more aware of his bare torso and feet and wet, clinging pants now that they are out of the water. He cannot fathom what Uncle would say. He might simply drop dead of shock at the sight of them.

Wei Ying's shirt might actually be more offensive than Lan Wangji's nudity.

He crouches down to gather wood together, intent on getting Wei Ying's fire lit before he even pulls on his inner robe. He cannot abide him being cold.

[yiling_laozu]

"I will teach you," Wei Wuxian murmurs, lingering at the trees' edge. He sees Lan Wangji like this so rarely, and the first time he'd only had eyes for the wounds on his back. He can't seem to help himself looking now, watching the way his pale skin seems to ripple as the muscles work beneath. It's a bit like when his eyes had fallen on all those people at the beach, but while their bare bodies had been intriguing, they hadn't brought with them the curious, prickling heat that steals over him.

Wei Wuxian rubs at his cheeks with one hand, turning to disappear into the safety of the shadows to redress himself.

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji uses a quick charm to send the pile of wood aflame and makes quick work of redressing. The ground around the fire is soft and dry and he pulls a bottle of clear liquid out of his qiankun pouch.

He ought to have brought something warm, as Wei Ying had said, but he thought this gift would be well received. If it is what the man at the shop had promised.

He settles himself neatly and waits, taking a deep breath to re-center after getting so flustered in the water.