For Wei Ying - New Year's Eve

[lan_wangji]

This world is ridiculous. He is beginning to understand that some ridiculous thing will happen with regularity but as he delivers a sweeping kick to a group of what look very much like think cakes with sharp teeth and then fires off powerful notes from his guqin, dispelling enough of the cold inspects to make a path for a few more people to escape.

There seems to be no sense to these creatures, their origins and motivations a mystery that frustrates Lan Wangji to no end. Without understanding, fighting them is a frantic trial and error that does not always succeed. One sting on the back of his legs rendered the limb cold and pained before he managed the right combination of notes and now all he can think is that he cannot find Wei Ying.

Wei Ying's body cannot endure such cold.


He whips around, pushing back the swarm of bees approaching from the back before he ducks, some new horrid creature swooping out of the sky. "Wei Ying!" he shouts, taking the risk and leaping into the air, jumping to a clear spot and searching for a flash of red ribbon.

Comments

[yiling_laozu]

He doesn't see anything else, no swarm of insects, no new shadows in the sky, but still Wei Wuxian keeps searching. He strains his ears for them, the displaced air of wings or buzzing, but the only thing he hears are screams.

Lan Zhan's screams. Startled, Wei Wuxian looks down to find his white face staring back at him, transformed by a rictus of pain. "Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian breathes, letting himself fall all at once. He means to slow his descent before he reaches the ground, but he hits it like a stone, stumbling to his knees where he struggles to rise again, shuffling towards Lan Wangji.

"You're hurt," he croaks, turning to the side to throw up a sudden mouthful of blood.

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji watches wide eyed as Wei Ying drops hard to the ground and tries to reach him. He is startled out of his horror at the sight of blood pouring from Wei Ying's mouth and manages to push himself up enough to stumble forward and try and pull Wei Ying to his side with his one good arm.

"Must go," he breathes, attempting to hoist Wei Ying up enough to move with him. "Your core is depleted and I can't - can't fight." He is afraid there is far more wrong with Wei Ying than a depleted core but they must get to safety. His old home is near and empty save for the few pieces of furniture he had left behind. Such a trespass would surely be against the rules but he hardly cares.

[yiling_laozu]

Vision swimming, Wei Wuxian focuses on the white robes before him, grasping at a sleeve with a hand still bloody from his mouth as he drags himself to standing. If Lan Wangji can't fight, he is laid low indeed, and he will lead him out of here if he has to crawl.

"Where?" he asks, casting bleary eyes on the buildings all around them. He doesn't know where he is in this gray maze of a city. Perhaps one of the dwellings are empty to shelter in? "Where- where are you hurt?"

[lan_wangji]

"Unimportant," he huffs as he tries to dismiss Wei Ying's worry, turning right towards the ugly, squat building that is still unfortunately familiar.

"Old dwelling is still empty," he states as he had seen it advertised in the published news he reads diligently every morning. If he cannot fully understand this place, he can at least remain informed. He is cold, colder than the cursed drink at the party and cold enough that Wei Ying feels warm against his side, the surest marker of all that something is wrong. But his qi is not deviating, no blood pours from his own mouth as it does Wei Ying. "Wei Ying try and focus on your core. Focus on diverting energy to it."

[yiling_laozu]

It's such an earnest direction, one straight from a life he'll never know again that Wei Wuxian wants to laugh, but he knows the sound of it would be ugly. "Alright, Lan Zhan," he murmurs instead, feeling his vision blacken at the edges.

He can make it to Lan Wangji's old rooms. He can make it to the flying metal box at the very least before his legs give out, or so he tells himself as he feels another tug beneath his breast, the Yin iron angry at its short adventure and clamoring for more. "Lan Zhan should...do that also."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji does not in fact do that, intent on using that energy to feed Wei Ying's core once they are inside. He continues to drag them along, their bloodstained presence not even gaining stares in the residual chaos as he pushes his way back into the building he'd never expected to return to.

There is no question of the stairs and he uses his shoulder to press the button to open the metal box, leaning them both against the wall as it begins to climb.

"When we get inside," he says, gasping a little for breath as his muscles tighten with the cold. "Remove the seal from yourself. Wei Ying I can still feel the energy on you."

[yiling_laozu]

"Don't touch it, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian bites out, feeling a thrill of new panic at the thought of losing the seal. It's all that had saved Lan Wangji tonight, just as it is all that has saved Wei Wuxian in every battle since losing his core.

He presses his face to the cold metal wall, going slack for a moment as the elevator halts before he catches himself. "It will hurt you."

[lan_wangji]

"And is already hurting you," he counters without much heat, too cold and worried and pained for anything like heat.

He drags them both out as the doors open, managing to get his pained, nearly useless hand to summon a talisman to open the door.

He very nearly lets out an undignified sound of relief at the sight of the squashy, soft lounging bed still in the main room. "Lie down, Wei Ying. Remove the seal. You need energy."

[yiling_laozu]

"So does Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian mutters, pushing Lan Wangji's arm away so he can collapse on the bed. Prone his headache is somehow worse, but he pushes his hand into his robes, fetching the pouch that contains the seal.

"You are hurt, I know you are. Hurt because you could not look past me to defend yourself. So help yourself now." He manages to place the pouch on the little table by the bed, hand resting within reach of it. "I'm angry and I won't forgive you until you do."

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying is at risk of a qi deviation; I am merely uncomfortable," he argues, wishing he could toss the pouch clear across the room but not wanting to touch it without Wei Ying's permission. Of which he very much does not have.

"Drew them to away from innocents, did not want Wei Ying to have to use the Seal," he mutters as he tries to take Wei Ying's wrist, energy already pouring out of his good hand.

[yiling_laozu]

It will be wasted, so much energy flowing into him with no core to hold it, but the protest dies on Wei Wuxian's lips as it floods his hollowest places. It feels like cool, gentle water after being burnt from within, and he quiets as it soothes him, washing away the worst of the Yin's evil.

"Drew them all to yourself," he murmurs. "Then pretended they were not there to look after me instead."

[lan_wangji]

"Did not pretend they were not there," he murmurs in protest, nearly collapsing in gratitude when Wei Ying does not pull away. "Wei Ying does not have Suibian. Makes you rely on the Seal when your Core is not strong enough to direct resentful energy. Core will be damaged if Wei Ying keeps using the Seal in this way."

He knows that his own hand must be cold around Wei Ying's wrist but Wei Ying still feels far too cool. He leans forward to drop a kiss to the thin skin of Wei Ying's wrist, the veins far too prominent as he pours energy in.

[yiling_laozu]

"You did," Wei Wuxian insists. "They surrounded you, I couldn't see you. You dropped your sword." He stops, throat clogged with more than angry blood. His eyes sting no matter how hard he closes them, feeling that too gentle kiss.

"You've never dropped your sword, Lan Zhan. I thought you were - " His chest is heaving, and Wei Wuxian wants to curl himself into the smallest ball he can manage with gangly limbs. "I thought - "

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji still cannot get his right arm to cooperate so he cuts the flow of energy off in favor of pulling Wei Ying close, his head against Lan Wangji's chest where he sits on the floor.

"Am sorry I frightened you," he whispers, kissing the top of Wei Ying's head and keeping his face buried in the dark hair. "Was stung many times, arm and hand are numb. That is why I dropped Bichen. Wei Ying is so cold all the time. The venom is like ice everywhere. Afraid Wei Ying's core would be overwhelmed. I'm sorry."

[yiling_laozu]

Guilt claws up the back of Wei Wuxian's throat, adding to his misery. Lan Wangji is safeguarding something that doesn't exist, operating foolishly, yes, but also without all the knowledge he needs to form a proper plan. They can't truly stand together until their understanding of one another is complete, and Wei Wuxian isn't ready.

He's not ready for Lan Wangji to look at him and truly know what he is - and no longer isn't.

"Do you think it isn't the same for me?" he asks, face pressed to Lan Wangji's neck. There has never been anyone like him in Wei Wuxian's life, and never will be again. If he loses him, he loses everything. "That you aren't singular?"

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji is not, in fact, sure that he has ever thought of it that way. He has been in love with Wei Ying, so entirely devoted for so long that he sometimes forgets that Wei Ying loves him in the same way.

Not because Wei Ying does not make him feel loved, but because Wei Ying is such a miraculous, fiery, brilliant presence that Lan Wangji can hardly believe anyone else's love could come close to his.

"Did not think of it," he admits, fingers smoothing at the hair along Wei Ying's temple. "That Seal, that power, the way you look when you wield it. Those were the last things I saw before I lost you. It is all I can see. Tried to hold onto you and I could not."

[yiling_laozu]

"I'm sorry," Wei Wuxian whispers. "There's so much I don't know." So much he doesn't want to know, but perhaps that, like his core, will have to come out eventually. "If it was anything like watching those creatures surround you, then it was agony."

Wei Wuxian pulls back, wiping his face on one of his own dirty sleeves. "You said I fell. Was it the seal? Did I faint again?"

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji wrinkles his nose as Wei Ying smears dirt and blood on his face, instead pulling back enough to wipe at Wei Ying's face with a pristine corner of his own robe.

He pushes himself up with a pained grunt, now shivering and stiff as he eases his way onto the narrow bed with Wei Ying. "Many things went wrong," he murmurs as he tries to wrap his good arm around Wei Ying. "Lost control of the Seal, I think. Not your fault. Driven to it. Was too much. You jumped. I caught you but I couldn't hold you. Watched you fall," he manages, before his voice fails him.

[yiling_laozu]

"Jumped," Wei Wuxian murmurs. He can't imagine it. He'd been so angry on his way to this battle, he remembers that much. He'd been so hungry for revenge, and the Seal had delighted in it, promising to fuel his destruction. How powerful must the Seal have become? And how could it let him lose control of it? Wei Wuxian has his limits, but he's attuned to it now. How could it leave him for another master with no idea how to wield it?

"I'm sorry, Lan Zhan," he says again, "It must have been awful." He shifts closer, wincing as his side meets ice. He feels filled with lead, but this won't do. "Lan Zhan, let me draw you a bath. You are freezing, still."

[lan_wangji]

"Wei Ying does not owe apologies, not to me," he murmurs, trying to tighten his hold in protest at the suggestion.

"You need more energy, you still look pale," he says, trying to pull away enough to start the flow of energy again, even as his own core protests the strain as it keeps trying to restore his equilibrium.

[yiling_laozu]

"I have enough for now," says Wei Wuxian, taking the opportunity to roll to the other side fo the bed, where he puts his feet on the floor. He will stand up, he will walk to the bath, he will draw one and hot, and he will make sure Lan Wangji gets in. Then he is allowed to feel awful again.

Levering himself up, Wei Wuxian walks firmly into the washroom and fiddles with the taps. "Undress."

[lan_wangji]

Lan Wangji has several protests ready. Wei Ying does not, in fact, have enough energy not to mention the loss of blood and he would wager that Wei Ying is nearly as cold as he is simply because he always seems to be but they all die upon his tongue at Wei Ying's firm voice.

Wei Ying rarely speaks to him in such a way. In fact, no one save Uncle has spoken to him in such a way and he finds himself a little flummoxed. In the end, he chooses to obey for now, unsure about this new tone. He thinks he might enjoy it, if it weren't for Wei Ying unhappiness. He follows, undoing his hair and robes with far less grace than usual, revealing skin mottled with a startling, icy blue where the stings had landed along his arm, back and thigh. It hurts and seems to hurt more now that he has deigned to pay it attention.

"Join me," he pleads softly, standing in the doorway feeling uncomfortably vulnerable.

[yiling_laozu]

Wei Wuxian surveys him from his position by the tap. He looks awful, too pale, too blue, the fatigue evident in every part of him without the robes to hide his posture. Wei Wuxian shakes his head, but he does fold a few towels for his own knees near the edge of the tub before reaching for Lan Wangji's hand.

"It's too small," he says, longing for their proper tub at home. "But I'll be right next to you, Lan Zhan. Please get in."

[lan_wangji]

A part of Lan Wangji wants to beg, insist that two grown men could fit in the horrible, shallow tub but he resists, knowing Wei Ying is right.

All he can do is nod stiffly and lower himself down, breathing carefully through his nose at the way the water stings even as it starts to soothe some of the ache deep in his bones. Something about just that little bit of relief from discomfort makes Lan Wangji feel unraveled in a way he cannot stand and he is horrified to feel his eyes stinging and breath hitching. "I need to to take care of you," he insists even as he feels himself come unglued. "I can feed you energy like this."

[yiling_laozu]

After helping him into the water, Wei Wuxian wearily strips his outer robes, lowering himself to the ground just in time to catch Lan Wangji's hand as his breath hitches. "Shh," he shushes him, bringing the back of his cold hand to his lips. He folds it against his cheek after, cool no doubt, but warmer than Lan Wangji.

"You can't look after me if your own energy is depleted," he reminds him. "Lack of attention to yourself is how we got here in the first place."